The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
