I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i out mim tonsoeep
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