So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
