i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
