they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The adults are the big ones right?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
