"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
