i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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