Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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