Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
