Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
