Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We are two peas in an std pod
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize