if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
