Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
