We're facebook friends in real life
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
