everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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