His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
