Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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