Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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