White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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