She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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