dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
