I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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