i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
