He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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