I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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