I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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