i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize