woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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