Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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