I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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