Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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