im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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