i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize