Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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