I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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