About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
