My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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