Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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