Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
