Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I party with great urgency now.
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