I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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