I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
