So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
