Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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