everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
even my farts smell like vagina
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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