theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
