Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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