I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
