I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
