a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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