idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
