Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.

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(678): Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth. http://tfl.nu/wet5

Replies (9) Good night (686) Bad night (3294)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.

(305): View more from Florida

Did you save them?

(404): View more from Georgia

Who?

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(404): Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning. (305): Did you save them? (404): Who? http://tfl.nu/1xdf

Replies (28) Good night (5498) Bad night (1176)
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(425): View more from Washington

You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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(425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy

Replies (20) Good night (1556) Bad night (5700)
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(513): View more from Ohio

i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.

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(513): i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot. http://tfl.nu/7qf7

Replies (30) Good night (3772) Bad night (2842)
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(614): View more from Ohio

What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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(614): What tipped you off? The sombrero? http://tfl.nu/yqu3

Replies (11) Good night (4709) Bad night (623)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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(919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw

Replies (53) Good night (5781) Bad night (1145)
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(912): View more from Georgia

you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.

(919): View more from North Carolina

That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.

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(912): you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet. (919): That explains the puddle of pee in my closet. http://tfl.nu/tfvg

Replies (7) Good night (1154) Bad night (5255)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

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(404): I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party. http://tfl.nu/j6hi

Replies (12) Good night (7118) Bad night (956)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...

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(781): I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing... http://tfl.nu/jqiv

Replies (6) Good night (2497) Bad night (1104)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.

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(732): I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour. http://tfl.nu/7icu

Replies (7) Good night (1400) Bad night (831)
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(817): View more from Texas

Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.

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(817): Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s. http://tfl.nu/orrl

Replies (3) Good night (2635) Bad night (692)
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(937): View more from Ohio

You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable

(1-937): View more from Ohio

I can do at least one of those things.

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(937): You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable (1-937): I can do at least one of those things. http://tfl.nu/zzd3

Replies (2) Good night (1747) Bad night (445)
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(240): View more from Maryland

YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

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(240): YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN. http://tfl.nu/d5pr

Replies (12) Good night (2422) Bad night (580)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.

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(480): I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy. http://tfl.nu/w6tg

Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (471)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.

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(251): Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk. http://tfl.nu/ul5p

Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (350)

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