If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
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Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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