Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What should our trivia night team be named?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.