Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.

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(510): View more from California

I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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(914): View more from New York

I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

(847): View more from Illinois

Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.

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