Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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  (301): Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere http://tfl.nu/ptau
  Replies (4) Good night (1622) Bad night (611)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

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  (308): It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low http://tfl.nu/rfi4
  Replies (25) Good night (2139) Bad night (907)
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  (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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  (650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b
  Replies (10) Good night (1058) Bad night (2080)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  two words: eviction party

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  (503): two words: eviction party http://tfl.nu/l75h
  Replies (28) Good night (6327) Bad night (1151)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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  (763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9
  Replies (20) Good night (6718) Bad night (1184)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.

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  (215): we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius. http://tfl.nu/4mg0
  Replies (19) Good night (4184) Bad night (969)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.

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  (226): I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop. http://tfl.nu/0sxf
  Replies (4) Good night (3583) Bad night (1203)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!

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  (+44): This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant! http://tfl.nu/ns2k
  Replies (7) Good night (4555) Bad night (851)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.

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  (281): Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low. http://tfl.nu/mevg
  Replies (5) Good night (956) Bad night (1355)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background

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  (403): we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background http://tfl.nu/seul
  Replies (10) Good night (2375) Bad night (811)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

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  (506): Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies. http://tfl.nu/zmgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1522) Bad night (574)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.

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  (636): On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013. http://tfl.nu/kcos
  Replies (6) Good night (1174) Bad night (429)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.

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  (973): So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door. http://tfl.nu/82na
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (356)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.

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  (414): Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual. http://tfl.nu/8kpf
  Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (364)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ

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  (712): Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ http://tfl.nu/mn33
  Replies (8) Good night (563) Bad night (543)

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