Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!