He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i will never coherently bang her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.