She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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