Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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