Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
