ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
