I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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