bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
