we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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