woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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