I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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