Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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