I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
