I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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