I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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