Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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