Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
