Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Send help, water and tortillas.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
