White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
